Mostly, I just believe that I’m never going to stop learning what it is I believe.
Is it too much to ask to turn into a head spinning Linda Blair-esque crazy bitch instead of a weeping weakling wimp?
Whoever is behind the Values.com commercials (and they smack of the holier than thou “we’re clearly so much better than you and God’s chosen people so it’s our job to show you how to live your life properly” Republican right to me which makes me pissed I even LIKE and AGREE with the overall messages) needs to be STRUNG UP today because seriously, that “You Can Let Go” ad seems to be on an f-ing LOOP and I canNOT get to the remote (that’s inches from me) fast enough to turn it before the tears start.
OMG! I’m not even joking.
In fact, it’s ALMOST as bad as the damn ASPCA commercial with Sarah McLachlan’s “Angel” playing in the background that ALSO pushes me near dehydration levels every damn time it comes on during my period.
Also, at what point in my illness am I EVER going to be SICK ENOUGH TO END MY PERIOD?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Apparently, it’s a GREAT sign that I haven’t yet but lemme tell ya, if there’s an UP side to having cancer, that COULD be it.
We lost it during this scene for reasons of relevancy.
Even when life tries to smother you with dark clouds…
Ordinarily I scoff at young girls being allowed to sing songs like this…songs with such bitter and difficult life lessons as the meat and potatoes but this child is unbelievably good so I’m all manner of conflicted and confused.
Which I suppose is fitting because dammit, that’s been the theme for my week.
Did I mention she’s seriously adorable? ‘Cause she is.
Tonight I Have To Leave It
Our Ill Wills
Shout Out Louds - “Tonight I Have To Leave It”
So I heard it’s no good to run,
but it feels so much better now that it’s done
and tonight I have to leave it.
Why don’t you give love?
Why don’t you give love?
Tonight I have to leave it.
We grow, including the intellectual and the spiritual, without being deeply aware of it. In fact, some periods of our growth are so confusing that we don’t even recognize that growth is what is happening. We may feel hostile or angry or weepy and hysterical, or we may feel depressed. It would never occur to us, unless we stumbled on a book or person who explained it to us, that we were in fact in the process of change, of actually becoming larger, spiritually, than we were before. Whenever we grow, we tend to feel it, as a young seed must feel the weight and inertia of the earth as it seeks to break out of its shell on its way to becoming a plant. Often the feeling is anything but pleasant. But what is most unpleasant is the not knowing what is happening. I remember the waves of anxiety that used to engulf me at different periods in my life, always manifesting itself in physical disorders (sleeplessness, for instance) and how frightened I was because I did not understand how this was possible.
With age and experience, you will be happy to know, growth becomes a conscious, recognized process. Those long periods when something inside ourselves seems to be waiting, holding its breath, unsure about what the next step should be, eventually become the periods we wait for, for it is in those periods that we realize we are being prepared for the next phase of our life and, in all probability, a new level of the personality is about to be revealed.”
—Alice Walker, Living By The Word
—Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild